Birth is a private thing. It's been eighteen months so I've decided no editing, just writing directly on my blog for you all to see and love, along with me so I'm not alone anymore in it. My birth story is the whole story. Condensed, so you'll stay with me.
It started with some love making with someone I knew for eight years. Someone who didn't want a child. I became pregnant and knew in that moment it was okay to move forward. With or without him. So I did. I've been a single mother from conception. He doesn't talk to me. He can't deal. I send him love everyday.
Do you know PUPPPS sucks? I got it all over my arm pit area during the second trimester and had a dermatologist tell me firmly after me crying all over him, "Look lady, you take care of your baby, and let me take care of you" I needed that tone and his energy. He told me his mom was a midwife so of course I was sold and I took his prescription cream home and used three tubes of it till I had no more itching and could sleep better. I needed sleep. I was overnight PP doula-ing for most of the rest of my pregnancy.
I had even more folks on my team. I hired Eleni Petraki who had never attended a birth before mine. I was sold on her astrology background and her yogic body and mind (hey I mean if she was to spend a full day with me, I did want to admire more than her mind ;) I also hired Tania Zirulnik as my home birth midwife. I liked that she was from and trained in another country; I like that she came to my home for all prenatal visits. I liked a lot of things. And of course I let my friend Morgan, recently certified as a midwife in CA, hire herself as my 'just text me when in labor and I'll fly to NY' girl. And oh did she fly over, on her birthday! And, I can't forget, Amy Silber as my nighttime PP doula, and Rosie Hernandez as my day time PP doula. And Andrea Syms Brown was my savior IBCLC. Now that's a team.
So what about the birth?!
You really want to know? I mean, it's so private, right? And who is going to read a person's whole birth story?
It's more interesting told backwards and in bullets (and I'll have your attention that way anyhow). So here we go. Here's my birth.
I had FULL DILATION for 17 hrs total before my baby was born and was pushy and just could not do it at home, perhaps didn't like the way I was being coached, or whatever, it doesn't matter, I just needed help and a fresh space, and maybe, Dr. Sai!
The people at Bellevue were AMAZING.
I look back on my BIRTH as a TRIUMPH.
My midwife, Tania, said that before she left the hospital after Akiva as born. She said "Your birth was triumphant". If there's anything empowering, encouraging, loving, memorable, heart opening about my birth story, it's her saying those words to me as I held my baby for the first time.
Erica is a Childbirth Doula in NYC. Her present focus is on the postpartum period.