All is well here at the Holistic Matrona program, in Asheville, North Carolina. We're almost at the halfway mark and I'm amazed at the material covered and the depth of our work so far.
One of the biggest things I've gained is the notion: Midwife=with Woman, not Woman=with Midwife. For me, this means really getting where my client is coming from. Throwing my agenda and my opinions out the car window before I pull up. Hearing her story, knowing why she wants what she wants, and helping her to achieve it. Whapio once said, "I care about you. I'll bend over backwards to give you what you want" For me this is the epitome of the midwife's role...to be WITH WOMAN.
More and more these days, women are choosing midwives who do not hear them out and who interfere with their labor process. I keep wondering, Why?
We think we have to give our pregnancy and birth experience over to another person; we think they know better than we do; we think we don't know how to find our way.
I promise you- You know the way, and if you don't, you will surely find it in labor....if given the chance.
In short, make sure you're care provider is not going to tell YOU how to have YOUR baby. Get it? Our role as 'doula' is to ensure that your experience is yours, and your decisions are yours, and that your care providers are hearing you, and standing by you in the most sacred and life-changing day of your life. This birth belongs to you, and your family.
Erica is a Childbirth Doula in NYC. Her present focus is on the postpartum period.